I'm a proud owner of a coach bag...
I really couldn't resist it because it is REALLY pretty!!!
I swear it's gonna be the last last bag that I'm gonna buy...

I cross my lil pinky and I will NOT buy anymore bags....





The front view of the bag.. PREEWWTTYY righttt???








The back of the bag...





Die,I think I'm uncontrollable..
I spent more then i earn.
I'm dead...

Dead dear meat...

Die.... Died..... Dead...



left her thoughts ♥ 10:17:00 PM

My cough has been increasingly bad, coughed till my head hurts.
I still feel like puking every time I cough.
I'm suffering,I have to clutch my stomach and try to hold back my pee every time it happens.
I perspire even in a cold room.
I feel like crying, I feel miserable.
You wouldn't know until you experience it yourself.

Went to see the doctor for the 6th time today.
He wanted to give me 2 days MC but i rejected him.
I cant afford to not go to work anymore.
I need to get well, but I don't know how..


Sadly,I asked the doctor what I should do if I was still not well by next week.
He told me I should get an x-ray done.

Its not that serious right? Please tell me it isn't...

And its been 18 years since I last used an inhaler.
Now I'm back to using it again. =(





I feel so down, I really feel like dying....



left her thoughts ♥ 6:40:00 PM

I am enlightened!
I will neither feel sorry for myself nor feel miserable.

We, by nature,proactive, if our lives are a function of conditioning and conditions, it is because we have, by conscious decision or by default, chosen to empower those things to control us.

In making such a choice, we become reactive. Reactive people are often affected by their physical environment. If the weather is good,they feel good. If it isn't, it affects their attitude and their performance.

Proactive people on the other hand, can carry their own weather with them. Whether it rains or shines males no difference to them. They are value driven; and if their value is to produce good quality work, it isn't a function of whether the weather is conducive to it or not.

Reactive people are also affected by their social environment, by the "social weather". When people treat them well, they feel well; when people don't, they become defensive or protective.
Reactive people build their emotional lives around the behaviour of others, empowering the weaknesses of other people to control them.

The ability to subordinate an impulse to value is the essence of the proactive person. Reactive people are driven by feelings, circumstances, conditions and by their environment. Whereas proactive people are driven by values-carefully thought about, selected and internalized values.

Proactive people are still influenced by external stimuli, whether social, physical ,or psychological. But their responses to stimuli, conscious or unconscious, is a value-based choice or response.

As Eleanor Roosevelt observed,"No one can hurt you without your consent."
In the words of Gandhi," They cannot take away our self respect if we do not give it to them."

It is our willing permission , our consent to what happens to us, that hurts us far more than what happens to us in the first place.

I admit it is very hard to accept emotionally, especially we have had years and years of explaining our misery in the name of circumstances or someone else's behaviour. BUT until a person can say deeply and honestly, " I am what I am today because of the choices I made yesterday," the person cannot say ,"I choose otherwise."


Well, its not what happens to us, but our response to what happens to us that hurts us. Of course, things can hurt us physically or economically and can cause sorrow. But our character, our basic identity, does not have to be hurt at all. In fact, our most difficult experiences become the crucibles that forge our character and develop the internal powers, the freedom to handle difficult circumstances in the future and to inspire others to do so as well.

We have all known individuals in very difficult circumstances, perhaps with terminal illness or severe physical handicap, who maintain magnificent emotional strength.

For example my dad, he was diagnosed with colon cancer back in 2007. He never gave up and lived life to the fullest. Encouraging everyone around him and especially me. He told me to look at life in a different perspective. He told me once," You choose your life and the journey you want to embark on. The future is in your hands.You choose."
Up till the day he died, he was still fighting.
I miss him.

Nothing has greater,longer lasting impression upon another person than the awareness that someone has transcended suffering, has transcended circumstances, and is embodying and expressing a value that inspires and ennobles and lifts life.


At this current moment, I feel as though I am freed from my own chains of misery.
I feel liberated at last.

NO longer am I going to be controlled by the treatment of some person.



left her thoughts ♥ 9:56:00 PM

Dragged myself to work today even though I was not feeling well.
I am glad I went to school because my allied teacher was on MC today.
Baby texted me in the morning while I was still asleep to remind me not to go to school if i didn't feel well.
But told him I had to go to work.
He reminded me to take good care of myself.
I love him to bits.

Well, serves me right because halfway through the day, I lost my voice.
But some darling students kept reminding each other to keep quiet to listen to me.
Before dismissing them, they told me to eat strepsils, drink more water and rest well.
Those tiny gestures meant so much to me.

You know, these are the little moments that you will cherish.
And these are the things that keeps the passion going strong.
I love my kids and I love to teach.
Makes it all worth while.

On the other hand,I am utterly disappointed.
My student still has not turned up for school.

I texted her today..

Me : *****, if you want me to help you, you have to come to school. I still care for you that is why I am not scolding you. I know where you are after school. I have not given up on you so don't give up on yourself.


Honestly, I don't know what I'm doing anymore.
I cant take disciplinary actions on her because I don't have the authority to.
Further more, teachers are strictly NOT ALLOWED to lay a finger on our students.

I feel lost.

I want to be a good teacher but I don't know if I'm doing the right thing.



left her thoughts ♥ 2:34:00 PM

On skype with my favourite cheryls.
I miss them dearly.
I miss the girl talk, I miss the gossips...
I miss you all. =)






Me and Cheryl Tan





Me and Cheryl Chong


I wished Cheryl Chong was here in Sg with us.
We can hang out like how we used to in poly.

Reminiscing about the days we spent together dancing our nights away.
Missed the times when we had our dance competitions.
Missed staying over at Cheryl Tan's house the night before the National Dancesport competition.

Missed waking up at 5am to put on make up and rushing to NTU at 6.30am.
How I missed those times back then.

Speaking of which... I really missed dancing.. =(



This is a picture of me taken during my last National Dancesport competition...






Lemme side track for awhile..
My student did not turn out for school today. I am very disappointed with her.
Boyfriend tried to console me..but I can't help feeling lousy about myself.
='(



left her thoughts ♥ 12:05:00 AM

I cant sleep even though I have to wake up at 5am tomorrow morning.
I'm troubled over this student of mine. She just sms-ed me and it was very disturbing.

This was what happened during Term 1. This girl has been absent from school for at least a month. She was not in school for the last 2 weeks before the term break. She isn't a naughty girl. She does not give me problems in class.

I tried to contact her mother for the umpteenth time, but her mother just doesn't want to pick up my calls. Even though I sms-ed the mother telling her that the Vice-principal wanted to see her and her daughter, she continued to ignore my calls.

My kids have been telling me that they have seen this girl playing at the play ground, basketball court, arcade..
She was everywhere but school.

I even walked around the neighbourhood after school one day to look for her. Went right up to her doorstep and my girl didn't want to answer the door.

I was desperate, not because I had to answer to the Vice-principal. I was desperate because I wanted her to be present in school so that I could help her in her work.
I was determined to look for her and I gave the class my handphone number and told them to call me if they saw her around the neighbourhood after school.
It was that day, I caught her right outside the school. She was waiting for her friend.

I grabbed her arm and walked right into the VP's office. I neither scolded her nor talked to her. I was just too angry to do anything.

So there she was in the office with the VP and me questioning her. I had to calm myself down and talked to her nicely to find out what actually happened. I believe that kids their age (11 years-old) would not play truant for nothing.
It turned out that she's neglected at home.

It was then, I was even more determined to help this girl.
I noticed that she had eczema, a skin allergy.Brought her to guardian to get a cream to stop her itchiness.
Brought her to Mac Donald to buy her food and have a good chat with her. I guess she needed someone to care for her. I consoled her and told her that she could treat me like an older sister.
Found out many things from her. Firstly, her parents are divorced and her dad is living with the mistress. Secondly, her siblings did not care for her and lastly, her mother was busy working.
Sighs, this explains her behaviour.

I asked her to call all her good friends down or friends she always hung out with.
Bought her friends meals and started talking to them.
I spent about $50 on them that afternoon.
To cut the conversation short, I told all of them that there was nothing wrong with hanging out and playing and that they should encourage each other to study.

After which I left the group of them to do their own things and I went home. Praying that things would be alright.

I was helpless and I didn't know what else to do, but I really wanted to help this girl.



So, just 5 minutes ago, she sms-ed me..


Student : Miss Ong, I'm so sorry that tomorrow I am not able to go to school because i have alot of homework to do.

Me : Just come to school okie? Homework can be done after remedial. What have you done?

Student : But i feel abit sick and head pain

Me : Please come to school. It is for your own good. SA1 is just slightly more then 4 weeks away. I want you to pass. You can do it.

Student : Thanks but I will try to force myself to come

Me : Yes! that's my girl. Unless you are very very sick and if you are running a high fever, bad cough, you should see a doctor and get an MC. Be a good girl ok? I will be very happy to see you in school tomorrow.
You should go and sleep now. Have a good night's rest and you'll feel refreshed tomorrow. Good night.




I feel sad because after all the episodes.... She still thought of not attending school. sighs


Am I'm such a bad teacher?
I really wonder.
What else can I do?



left her thoughts ♥ 11:24:00 PM

I have been waiting for this day for the longest time.
2 weeks seemed like forever...
Today was boyfriend's first book out!!!
Thanks to Zul, bf's brother... He's the SWEETESTT BROTHER EVER!!!
Zul picked me up from woodlands and drove me to bf's camp which was in Lim Chu Kang.
I was beaming with joy and excitement and I couldn't sit still in the car..

When we reached bf's camp , Botak baby opened the car door and I couldn't stop hugging and kissing him.
I misssedddd him like crazyyyy!!!
Sadly Zul and bf had to meet their mum so I alighted at the MRT and went back to town to meet Po and Ken.. =)

Andddd... Zul sent bf to my house at 11pm just now !!! SOO HAPPYYYYYY!!!
I got to spent time with baby!!! really really really happy!!
and Bf's brother just fetched him home.

Thanks Zul once again... I REALLY RELLLY x100000000 appreciate everything that you're doing for Suhadi and me... thank you for being ubber supportive. I am really glad to have met you.



left her thoughts ♥ 3:59:00 AM

Today was an EVENTFUL day...
Actually,I was looking for a wallet to match my Burberry bag.
I checked out Burberry before meeting Cheryl but I couldn't make up my mind on which wallet to get.
Went to Miu Miu, Prada, YSL, Gucci... but I still couldn't find any that I fancied.

Met Cheryl lovely in the afternoon,had Crystal Jade for lunch.
Walked around ION.. We went to Louis Vuitton,saw this Koala Damier Wallet which cost $1,000.. ALMOST BOUGHT IT... but I realised that the wallet was rather heavy.
Plus the fact that I FEEL OLD carrying it made me put the wallet back.
In the end,we went to Burberry and Cheryl chose a wallet for me!
I am satisfied and happy! Now that I have a bag and a matching wallet!! many loves!!!

After 6 months of hard work, I believe I have already pampered myself enough to last me for a year.
I am done with expensive shopping.


NO MORE SHOPPING CHERYL... you have already pampered yourself enough.




My proud Burberry collection..



Cheryl and me!







left her thoughts ♥ 9:41:00 PM

I loveee my new M.A.C lipstick.The colour is AWESOME!
Even though I get stares from people because the red is LOUD,I love the retro red colour nevertheless.
I became narcissistic for the night... =)











I know what you're thinking.... "WHATEVER CHERYL, talk to my hand!" Don't be mean ok!.. hahaha



I shall digress from my self-indulgence...

I miss all my performances...
I miss dancing.



left her thoughts ♥ 1:57:00 PM

I am starting to get used to using my Ipod touch. Am using my Ipod touch for this entry.


CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC...

I have sinned bigg time. I spent close to $2,000 in just a short period of 5 days....
Let's start from last friday...
Friday : $200 on face and back facial
Sunday : $486 on Ipod touch and $85 on bf's phone.
Today : Burberry bag, M.A.C lipstick and eyeliner, a grey dress and DIOR Addict 2 perfume..




My Burberry bag



Dior Addict 2 Summer



M.A.C - Ruby woo lipstick (nice matte retro red)




I confessed to bf at night and I think he isn't happy about it...
I am feeling guilty now but I do not regret it..
Sighs.... I need financial counselling....
The reason that I can think of, which explains my ridiculously insane spending is because I have been very stressed out at work for the past 2 months and I just needed to relief my stress.Therefore I am on this shopping therapy.

I know this is a bloody lame excuse. My spending isn't justifiable.
Not even one bit.

Alright, I feel like shit now.. I think I made a mistake.
I am not broke. But I know that money shouldn't be spent in this manner.

Maybe I should seek help.
Just like how gambling addicts call the helpline when in need.

Sighs....



left her thoughts ♥ 4:10:00 AM

Emerge performance at Zirca has finally ended.
A whole load off my shoulder.....
I believe we tried our best. =)
I wished bf was there though.
For the record, this is my FIRST time staying in a club from 10am-4.30am
That's 18 hours.... But i do believe its gonna be my 1st and last time at Zirca.
Don't quite like that place. Maybe I'm old.. haha

ANDDDDDDDDD......

I BOUGHT A 32GB IPOD TOUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! many many many many lovesss!!
Fir accompanied me to the IT fair and I was there for less then 10 mins when I bought my Ipod touch. woohoo!!! =)
But of course, it burnt a hole in my pocket.. but i'm lovin' it!

Well, here are some photos taken at Zirca. =)

















left her thoughts ♥ 2:17:00 PM

The medicine doesnt seem to be working at all.
In fact, I'm feeling worse then ever!
-sniffs-



On a happier note, Lyrical Hip Hop item for Zirca's performance is almost done..
Just need more practice and a lil bit more cleaning up.
And we'll be ready for the performance...



left her thoughts ♥ 10:36:00 AM

Its 6am and I'm still debating whether I should go to work or not.
Throat's hurting and I dont have much voice left.
How am I supposed to conduct lessons today when I can barely talk?
I feel bad leaving my allied teacher to handle the class alone today.
Especially when there's remedial lessons.
I hope I don't seem like I'm slacking..
But my throat is killing me..

Oh baby, chase away my Monday blues...



left her thoughts ♥ 6:10:00 AM

Human beings are complicated by nature and I wouldn't deny that.
You wouldn't believe my profession. But I have a strong passion for what I do.
I'm not a great dancer but dancing its one of my only burning passion in life that keeps me going. =)

A petite girl who loves to socialise and have tons of fun!
I'm patient but don't try to test the limits.
Well,as long as you are not a weirdo,you're most welcomed to join my social circle.
*cheerios!!